In 2022 I got a text from an old friend, “J”.
She is an excellent production manager, with over 9 years in the same job, and about to be promoted to her dream position in a big network.
“Let me know when you have a chance. I need to talk to somebody before quitting my job”. She wrote.
We talked later that day.
It took her 2 minutes before crying.
I thought she was finally tired of the long hours or the constant pressure created by the news of layoffs.
She was not.
“I’ve been working here for almost a decade and I am ready to move. I’ve never faced a jerk like this guy who started earlier this year”. She said.
I listened to her for almost half an hour. It was all complaints about the guy who is making her life miserable. Not a single one about the usuall challenges of our job.
“Have you faced him? Have you talked to HR or your boss?”. I asked.
“No, I don’t want to come out as “weak”. Especially now that I could be promoted to director”. Was her answer.
Personal problems...
We often point to long schedules as broadcasting's biggest challenge. We also talk about scarce opportunities, the need to live in a big market to get big shows, constant tech shifts that make people feel dispensable, and an industry in flux as money moves from cable to streaming.
Those pressures are real. They squeeze teams, budgets, and timelines.
Still, the hardest part is not hours, markets, or tech. It is people.
There are endless stories of colleagues who love the work but dread the room. A bad relationship can turn a good job into a daily grind.
When the jerk is also the boss, it is worse.
Personal problems make every other problem feel bigger. In any industry.
My friend “J” found the corage to have the conversation.
It did not work in the beginning. The guy was clear “I don’t like you even before coming here”. he said.
“I don’t need you to like me, I need you to respect me”, was her answer.
After a couple of weeks she found her way to her boss and HR. They supported. her.
If the room turns toxic
Not all stories end like my friend’s. Still, here you have some ideas to tackle a complicated personal situation.
1) Analyze the situation.
Was it a one off or a pattern? Look for frequency and context.
2) Check if you are the only target.
Is this person rough with everyone or just you? Patterns matter.
3) Draw the line between unkind and disrespectful.
Unkind is unpleasant. Disrespectful breaks standards and puts people or the show at risk.
4) Address it directly.
Short, calm, specific. In the moment: “I heard what you said. Keep it work focused. Happy to take feedback in the break.” In person: “Speak to me with respect. If it continues, I will escalate.” Weak is not who reports, weak is the one who disdain others.
5) Document facts, not feelings.
Keep a simple log: If the situation becomes repetitive, write down date, time, place, who, what was said or done, and the impact on the work. Save emails and texts. Screenshots help.
6) Use the ladder.
Start with the immediate lead. Then his/her manager. Then HR. Bring your log. You are not complaining. You are reporting risk to people and to the company.
7) If nothing changes, start your search.
Do not wait for the next round of cuts or the next bad day. Move.
If they did not support you this time, they are part of the problem.
If the jerk is the boss
Ask for a short one to one and state the behavior, the impact, and the request.
Follow up in writing. Keep it factual and brief.
Loop in HR or your representative if it repeats.
Protect your time. Decline non urgent requests that arrive after hours.
Keep your network warm and your CV current. Hope is not a plan.
If you are the boss
Be aware that personal relationships can pull people away faster than excess of work. It teaches people to hide.
If you are the boss, your mission is to take care of the personal relationships of your team as much as the delivery of their tasks.
Personal problems will sabotage even the best performing team.
One last point
Some people are professional jerks (like the one my friend faced in their job). Their career is built on pushing others aside so they do not become competition. You do not have to accept that. This job is hard enough. Do not let a disrespectful colleague or boss make it harder. If the door will not open, try another door.
If you lead, your legacy is not only a great show delivered on budget. It is the the team you kept healthy and the careers you helped start.
Reply and tell me what have worked for you. Your tip might help someone else take the first step to solve a personal situation, or to take the courage to find another job in our industry.
If one line here helped you, please forward this to one friend who would benefit today. Small shares grow this community. Thank you.
“If you lead, your legacy is not only a great show delivered on budget. It is the team you kept healthy and the careers you helped start.” Oscar, you are the leader I was looking for when I walked into the Concacaf office after calling an NWSL game three years ago. It was you who helped start my career when you were with them. Thank you for believing in me! I want to be on all your teams.
You gave me good advice about (not) working for people who don’t value you.
Move on to work where you are valued. There is plenty of work out there.
Have faith.